In which I explain where the fuck I've been

It's been... one two three four... FIVE DAYS!

FIVE WONDERFULLY FUCKED UP DAYS!

Since I last posted on this blog. Don't know why I'm still bothering, but that's for another time. Excuse me if this is a liittle fucked up. I'm posting from a computer that isn't mine and whatever I've been dosed with doesn't quite seem to have worn off. Also the keyboard on it is a piece of shit.


So where the fuck do we start?

Physical condition perhaps?

Okay good a place as any. Physically you're a bit of a mess. A car accident, even a low speed will do that to you. Getting grabbed out of the wreck of said car will not improve that situation. Neither will dragging your sedated ass to a dingy, old, abandoned  building somewhere in... well there's no point in mentioning, and chaining someone to a bit of the plumbing in the cellar. Over all? Aches, pains, one shoulder is a little fucked up I think, to say nothing about the state of you ribs.

But then, I'm not a doctor. I am vaguely reminded of the second time my nose got broken. That was fun. But getting off-topic.

So what about mental condition?

Don't quite think I'm exactly qualified to assess that.

So, car accident you say?

Why YES! That was ALL FUCKING KINDS OF FUN. Let me tell you about the car accident.

It's a dusty stretch of back roads out in the middle of nowhere. The road comes to a Y-shaped intersection that's a bitch and a half to get around if you want to head down one arm from the opposite. Pretty deep ditch on either side. Fields, tree at the fork. I'm sort of parked in the middle of the road, trying to figure out which side of that fork to go down.

The old farmhouse is down the left-hand fork, so I start towards it.

Blink.

About half way down the road.

There he is.
There He is.
THERE HE IS. I think I might have lost it.

No question. You lost it.

The... wrongness of it. It. Not quite the right word.

Do we even have a right for that? The right word would probably be a wrong word all of it's own accord you know.

It's limbs are jointed the wrong way and where did the extra sets of arms come from? The car is moving and then
The last thing I remember thinking before the crash is 'he looks just like a tree'

Blink.

Tree. There's a tree there's a tree and then... white. Noise. A sort of ringing? That fades into a persistent honking noise that sounds like it's coming from all directions.

oh.

We seem to have crashed.

Idon't remember accelerating, or turning.

Or running into a fucking tree.

Am I in the ditch?
and then the door opens. I start to fall, the seatbelt catches me a little. Then.. hands, the seat belt is gone and pain in my neck. Things get hard to see and then black.

I wake up in a fucking cellar, chained to the plumbing. Like someone's idea of a bad horror film. Now, where did the...

pardon me, i think i'm going to have to be sick.

Mad World

Not going back there. Not that I had much choice after my run in with who I assume was good Dr. Serra, who I assume is now going out of her way to violate what passes for a Hippocratic oath these days.

So I dragged myself to the ER. Mentioned that the other day, I think.
That went superbly. Told them I'd been mugged (90% true) but didn't see who did it. (Entirely false)
They seem to have done a pretty good job patching me up. Brace for the ankle, even went so far as to stitch the cut on my arm.

And then things started happening. So I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.
People should not be able to grin like that. They shouldn't. It's just not fucking natural. Hell of a lot of blood.
I haven't been comfortable staying in one place for too long. At least it's justified now.

Been saying it a while, but there's a great fucking granddad of a storm waiting out there. Best get out of it's way while I can.
If I can.

Now I need a new coat

I can pick up the signal from the service centre on the other side of the highway from the parking lot over here. Barely.

They haven't really started over here. They've just shut down the service centre. I expect they'll tear it down soon enough. With any luck no one will notice.

I pulled into the service centre just about sunset. It's farm country here, one of the places around here is big on tomatoes. They're quite good actually. I didn't see how they got in. Two of them. Boy and a girl.

They couldn't have been much more than teenagers. 15-16, best guess. It was the giggling that set me on edge. I couldn't figure out which of them was doing it. Masks were a permanent sort of grin. Like a clown's facepaint. It's disturbing.

I didn't see her pull the knife on me. That cost me. Pulled my arm up to protect myself and she sliced me across it. Bandaged now, but it bled pretty nice. I'll have to stop and clean it properly I expect. Don't know if I'll need stitches. wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last


Her buddy grabbed me from behind. He was taller than me. Bad luck for him. I've always been of a mind that the longer someone's legs are the better. It just means the soft, squishy bits are a little easier for me to get at.
In this case it meant pushing him back into a wall, slamming my shoulder into his gut and my elbow into his crotch and trying to get his chin with my head. Headbutting people generally isn't a good idea, but you work with what you've got.

Bubbles Mcgiggle was harder. She was all over the place. Wouldn't stop moving. Few more shallow cuts. Going to need a new coat, she put enough holes in this one. Couldn't keep her hand still though. She was shaking the whole time. Like she was freezing cold, or having a walking seizure. And the damn laughing. I'm sure I missed part of it that only dogs would hear.

I'm sure I got lucky. She tripped over a bit of uneven floor. Almost got me in the neck when she flailed the damn knife around. More broken fingers after that. Boots are good. She didn't stop laughing when I stepped on the hand with the knife in it. It got worse. Lanky was a little less inclined to come at me when I took the knife off of her. Not entirely disinclined. I'm no good with knives. It's a whole bag of snakes that I'm not willing to open up. Lanky got it in the shoulder and I booked it.

Lesson learned? Not in the fucking slightest. I'm not dead yet, right?