In which I explain where the fuck I've been

It's been... one two three four... FIVE DAYS!

FIVE WONDERFULLY FUCKED UP DAYS!

Since I last posted on this blog. Don't know why I'm still bothering, but that's for another time. Excuse me if this is a liittle fucked up. I'm posting from a computer that isn't mine and whatever I've been dosed with doesn't quite seem to have worn off. Also the keyboard on it is a piece of shit.


So where the fuck do we start?

Physical condition perhaps?

Okay good a place as any. Physically you're a bit of a mess. A car accident, even a low speed will do that to you. Getting grabbed out of the wreck of said car will not improve that situation. Neither will dragging your sedated ass to a dingy, old, abandoned  building somewhere in... well there's no point in mentioning, and chaining someone to a bit of the plumbing in the cellar. Over all? Aches, pains, one shoulder is a little fucked up I think, to say nothing about the state of you ribs.

But then, I'm not a doctor. I am vaguely reminded of the second time my nose got broken. That was fun. But getting off-topic.

So what about mental condition?

Don't quite think I'm exactly qualified to assess that.

So, car accident you say?

Why YES! That was ALL FUCKING KINDS OF FUN. Let me tell you about the car accident.

It's a dusty stretch of back roads out in the middle of nowhere. The road comes to a Y-shaped intersection that's a bitch and a half to get around if you want to head down one arm from the opposite. Pretty deep ditch on either side. Fields, tree at the fork. I'm sort of parked in the middle of the road, trying to figure out which side of that fork to go down.

The old farmhouse is down the left-hand fork, so I start towards it.

Blink.

About half way down the road.

There he is.
There He is.
THERE HE IS. I think I might have lost it.

No question. You lost it.

The... wrongness of it. It. Not quite the right word.

Do we even have a right for that? The right word would probably be a wrong word all of it's own accord you know.

It's limbs are jointed the wrong way and where did the extra sets of arms come from? The car is moving and then
The last thing I remember thinking before the crash is 'he looks just like a tree'

Blink.

Tree. There's a tree there's a tree and then... white. Noise. A sort of ringing? That fades into a persistent honking noise that sounds like it's coming from all directions.

oh.

We seem to have crashed.

Idon't remember accelerating, or turning.

Or running into a fucking tree.

Am I in the ditch?
and then the door opens. I start to fall, the seatbelt catches me a little. Then.. hands, the seat belt is gone and pain in my neck. Things get hard to see and then black.

I wake up in a fucking cellar, chained to the plumbing. Like someone's idea of a bad horror film. Now, where did the...

pardon me, i think i'm going to have to be sick.

Air Raid Sirens

Bit of a bad season. Lots of dead people. Didn't know any of them, but I try to keep up with the obits. I have to keep score somehow, right? We've actually got confirmation that Zeke Strahm, face-punching, gun-toting, ex-cop wunderkind is dead. Not pretty at all, had to happen eventually.

This isn't the time or place for heroes. It's time to start looking for cover.
Air raid sirens and thunderclouds. Hope I can run fast enough. You're dead if you stay still, and standing on the high ground is just asking to be struck by lightning.
Anyone who says otherwise is fucking mental. Delusional, to a man. Some of them had fucking messiah complexes.
Heroes get killed. No question. It's just a matter of how many people are unlucky go with them.

Time to get back on the road. A knife wound and broken fingers obviously weren't disincentive enough for some people.

Now I need a new coat

I can pick up the signal from the service centre on the other side of the highway from the parking lot over here. Barely.

They haven't really started over here. They've just shut down the service centre. I expect they'll tear it down soon enough. With any luck no one will notice.

I pulled into the service centre just about sunset. It's farm country here, one of the places around here is big on tomatoes. They're quite good actually. I didn't see how they got in. Two of them. Boy and a girl.

They couldn't have been much more than teenagers. 15-16, best guess. It was the giggling that set me on edge. I couldn't figure out which of them was doing it. Masks were a permanent sort of grin. Like a clown's facepaint. It's disturbing.

I didn't see her pull the knife on me. That cost me. Pulled my arm up to protect myself and she sliced me across it. Bandaged now, but it bled pretty nice. I'll have to stop and clean it properly I expect. Don't know if I'll need stitches. wouldn't be the first time, won't be the last


Her buddy grabbed me from behind. He was taller than me. Bad luck for him. I've always been of a mind that the longer someone's legs are the better. It just means the soft, squishy bits are a little easier for me to get at.
In this case it meant pushing him back into a wall, slamming my shoulder into his gut and my elbow into his crotch and trying to get his chin with my head. Headbutting people generally isn't a good idea, but you work with what you've got.

Bubbles Mcgiggle was harder. She was all over the place. Wouldn't stop moving. Few more shallow cuts. Going to need a new coat, she put enough holes in this one. Couldn't keep her hand still though. She was shaking the whole time. Like she was freezing cold, or having a walking seizure. And the damn laughing. I'm sure I missed part of it that only dogs would hear.

I'm sure I got lucky. She tripped over a bit of uneven floor. Almost got me in the neck when she flailed the damn knife around. More broken fingers after that. Boots are good. She didn't stop laughing when I stepped on the hand with the knife in it. It got worse. Lanky was a little less inclined to come at me when I took the knife off of her. Not entirely disinclined. I'm no good with knives. It's a whole bag of snakes that I'm not willing to open up. Lanky got it in the shoulder and I booked it.

Lesson learned? Not in the fucking slightest. I'm not dead yet, right?

I could very well be crazy.
Don't think it hasn't occurred to me. Psychotic break? Hallucinations? I could be going just like

Not important. Not like I've been acting particularly rationally. For all I know, I could be entirely delusional. Hanlon's Razor isn't as nice when it's not working in your favour.

And knowing this? I could just, turn around I suppose. Turn the car around, drive back and get myself put in a mental institution.

I don't think I want to though.

Miranda is still missing.
I haven't heard from her. Phone number is out of service. Not that I blame her. I keep the battery out of mine.
So happy fucking Valentine's Day in case you read this Mir.

I am a bastard. I think I've made that abundantly clear. I make no apologies for it. I like it. It works.
Until I'm given reason to feel otherwise, I don't like you. I'm not a fucking fan of people, in case we've missed that little fact.  I look out for myself, it's worked out.


I don't even known why I'm still writing this. I don't need to fucking justify myself.

Mid-week Weekend

I wasn't terribly active yesterday, or the previous evening. Well, I didn't exactly announce my plans, since they just sort of 'happened'. I was out in the country side, tromping around in my big stompy boots taking pictures out in the woods and generally having a good time.
Also, there were cats.

It was absolutely fucking brilliant, the freezing rain we had the other evening made the whole place look absolutely gorgeous. The only thing I could have hoped for was some better light so the shine would be there, maybe actually get some use out of the new polarizing filter.

But that's done and over with. Results will be showing up on my tumblr in bits and pieces. The first batch is up already, but I really need to get back onto the Scream liveblog. Whole movie to go and there's only been one murder so far!

But let's deal with the troll while we're here.

WHY HELLO MR. BATTLE! AREN'T WE THE BORED LITTLE FUCK.

Actually. Nah. That's all you're getting.
Go hug a tree Ricky-boy, I'm busy.

Hanlon's Razor

"Never mistake for malice, that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."

News then. Miranda finally decided to answer her phone. Montreal. She was in montreal. That took all of two seconds to mention. Seriously. You break into my account, post a cryptic comment and... are the blogs getting to you or something Mir?

It's snowing again. Plenty of it. If you read the tumblr (don't know why not) you'll have seen the photo this morning.

AWOL

My own bed again. And if you'd believe it, I still haven't bothered unpacking. Haven't really had the time.

Went by Miranda's house yesterday.
Actually, let me preface this by saying that she hasn't answered her phone in two days. She always answers the phone. Even if it's just to say "busy now, talk later." 
So I walk to her house. We've got plenty of snow here, nice and crunchy where it hasn't turned to slush. Knock on the front door. No answer. Maybe she's gone somewhere? Don't recall her having any plans though. And there's a shit-ton of mail piled up. I took a look, she's got one of those flap/slot things on her door for mail.

At least a week's worth.

Of course, the neighbours seemed a little wary of some short white dude in a jacket looking through someone's front door. Threatened to call the cops on me, so I scrammed.

Went back that night, there's no lights on in the whole house. Where the everloving fuck are you hiding Miranda?

Hey, Mir? If you read this, pick up your fucking phone. So I can punch you through it. I will find a way to do it. Disappearing is not fucking cool.

More updates

So, I've talked with Miranda. Good news! She knows about this blog. (Hi Miranda)

How to best go about this then? Well, let's start with the obvious update. Caffeine free:

I'm still doing pretty good without the caffeine. My sleeping had normalized a little before we went into "OH SHIT EXAMS TIME" and I started fucking with my sleep again. At this point I'm catching naps or scraps of sleep whenever I can.

Suffice it to say, sticking with my personal challenge is proving harder than expected.

Miranda: Take the chance to thank Rynia here. Miranda found me liveblogging MH (part of the reason that's on hold) and recognized it. How you recognize one shaky cam video out of a few dozen I don't know. We got to palavering and things followed. That was a few days back.
She's... yeah let's go with 'intense' as a word to describe her. Apparently I am seeing her. This was an... I think this qualifies as an ultimatum.

About last night

Spectacularly bad.
At least, I think so. I haven't talked with her since last night.
I've got class in... two and a half hours.
So we'll see how that goes.

The Movie

So, that whole date thing which I seem to have accidentally engendered is tonight.
Not quite sure how that'll go. I'm confident that I'll make an absolute fucking prat out of myself or be perfectly unable to shut up.

I'm still not sure that anyone actually reads this (not even the prof who suggested we start these things [HI ROY]) but if you'd like to try to help me calm down, I'd be more than willing to accept aid. Or troll you, I'm not sure where that particular mood-aspect is leaning at the moment.

Try not to take it personally if I do, it's just the World and I keeping track of who's winning.

What am I on now... day... 3 plus, of not having caffeine.
Considering the habit was "at least once a day", I was expecting this to be... I don't know, easier?
I certainly credit it with the rash of absolutely *brilliant* ideas I've been having lately.
That was sarcasm. I know it doesn't translate well.

Suffice it to say that it's been fucking with my sleep a bit lately. Either I'm awake much too late without trying or I'm sleeping too lightly and waking up a few times in the night. Either way, it's doing wonders (sarcasm again) for my state of actually being awake in class.

So there's this girl in one of my courses. She's from the other section of the class, should be in the 2pm editing class instead of this one, but I digress. She's cute, blonde, and likes horror films.
So, in my half-awake state the other day, I ask her "hey, that theatre downtown is showing Dead Snow (Norweigian? zombie flick. Nazi zombies, very good). I was going to go with a friend, but he bailed." Completely out of the blue, no reason that I can think of other than that I was half asleep.

Want the shocking part?

She said "sure."

Well fuck me. What am I supposed to do now?

Weather

It's fucking cold.
Mostly, the problem is that the whether hasn't decided how cold it wants to fucking well be, up until this weekend. WINTER IS COMING!
Not that I have a problem with winter or anything, I'd just like the whether to settle on a mood so I can dress appropriately.
I'll have some more photos up on the tumblr later this week, if anyone's interested.

If no one hears from me for a while

I'm probably dead or in police custody.
After murdering my classmates and teacher.

Seriously, I'm paying this man's salary?

AND WHY WILL NO ONE SHUT UP

edit: this is what low blood sugar will do to a body.

Disturbingly

Boring

Is the only way to describe the current situation.

Thanksgiving

GAH! WHERE DID MY WEEKEND GO?

So... It's after thanksgiving now. Hope you had a good one. Unless you're some silly sort of person who celebrates thanksgiving in November.

I rode the train twice, managed to murder my arms playing kinect sports and now I have all kinds of leftovers. But I have no idea what happened to TWO WHOLE DAYS. Time should not move that quickly.

On procrastination

So, I've been telling myself for about a week that I'll get groceries "tomorrow."
Tomorrow arrived last night when I started to actually run out of food.

But here's the problem. It's eight blocks, one way,from here to the grocery stores. I don't have a car and I hate spending money.

So it's a little hard to get the groceries home on my own, especially when I'm in a starvation situation.

Fire Alarms

I really don't like fire alarms.
Or noise of any sort. I say noise, rather than sound, because noise is unwanted sound. Or really any unwanted sensory information.

We had one running earlier today as tumblr will show.
I've got video of it, but I don't think I want to subject anyone to that ear-piercing wailing noise the alarms make.

This post is only tangentially related to fire alarms.
An earlier post mentioned the house fire nearby. Three alarm fire at eleven at night tends to generate a lot of noise. Emergency vehicles, the fire itself, the noise of people in nearby houses. Doors, windows, sirens. Lights, smoke.

The house that burned down was a little up the street from my own. Eventually they cordoned off the lot, and cleaned it up. News said there were two bodies found in the fire, and it was arson.
So you sort of have to wonder:
Would a fire alarm have really helped them?

They've cleaned up the lot now. There's plants and things growing there. You'd never know there had been a house.

Ottawa

So, I've been back in Ottawa a month. There are three things I like about Ottawa. First, at night I can actually see the stars. Not a few miserable pinpricks of light trying to compete with every streetlight in the city, we're talking constellations worth.

Second: Trees. The trees at my home in the GTA are boring, blade-leafed, straight sickly looking things. There are maple and oak trees around here, pine trees that dwarf the houses they stand in front of. The trees seem more fundamentally tree-like. I'm not exactly sure why. They just seem more like real trees.

Third: Lack of noise. I live on a bus route in the GTA. All hours, bloody buses. In Ottawa, I live at least two blocks from the nearest major road or bus route. There's next to no car traffic.
This was interrupted a while back by a house deciding to burn down. I've got pictures. Well, not exactly.