A fucking hitchhiker. I don't believe it.
Okay, where the fuck am I?
This map has to be fucking useless. There isn't a stretch of road that even FUCKING REMOTELY resembles this anywhere. There isn't. It's just straight fucking road going on to infinity that isn't on the fucking map.
Wait...
No. No. FUCK THAT. Fuck that shit.
god damn it this is not fucking happening it is not
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Road to Nowhere
Still inside the fucking cloud. Five fucking hours. I don't believe it.
At this point, I'm betting the highway is some sort of mobius strip. Wouldn't be too fucking surprised at this point. I swear to god, it all looks the fucking same.
The bit of fence I'm next to? Well it looks like any split rail fence but I'd swear I've been by it a least twice already. Hard to tell in the fog.
Sure as hell not getting out of the car.
Wait.
Is that a fucking hitchhiker?
At this point, I'm betting the highway is some sort of mobius strip. Wouldn't be too fucking surprised at this point. I swear to god, it all looks the fucking same.
The bit of fence I'm next to? Well it looks like any split rail fence but I'd swear I've been by it a least twice already. Hard to tell in the fog.
Sure as hell not getting out of the car.
Wait.
Is that a fucking hitchhiker?
Monday, March 19, 2012
Mad World
Not going back there. Not that I had much choice after my run in with who I assume was good Dr. Serra, who I assume is now going out of her way to violate what passes for a Hippocratic oath these days.
So I dragged myself to the ER. Mentioned that the other day, I think.
That went superbly. Told them I'd been mugged (90% true) but didn't see who did it. (Entirely false)
They seem to have done a pretty good job patching me up. Brace for the ankle, even went so far as to stitch the cut on my arm.
And then things started happening. So I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.
People should not be able to grin like that. They shouldn't. It's just not fucking natural. Hell of a lot of blood.
I haven't been comfortable staying in one place for too long. At least it's justified now.
Been saying it a while, but there's a great fucking granddad of a storm waiting out there. Best get out of it's way while I can.
If I can.
So I dragged myself to the ER. Mentioned that the other day, I think.
That went superbly. Told them I'd been mugged (90% true) but didn't see who did it. (Entirely false)
They seem to have done a pretty good job patching me up. Brace for the ankle, even went so far as to stitch the cut on my arm.
And then things started happening. So I got the hell out of there as soon as I could.
People should not be able to grin like that. They shouldn't. It's just not fucking natural. Hell of a lot of blood.
I haven't been comfortable staying in one place for too long. At least it's justified now.
Been saying it a while, but there's a great fucking granddad of a storm waiting out there. Best get out of it's way while I can.
If I can.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Can't Decide
Man goes to the doctor. Complains of problem with ankle
Doctor proceeds to beat the patient within an inch of his life.
Everyone laughs. Except the patient because he has fucking bruised ribs.
Typing this waiting in the ER. Hopefully they don't give a fuck.
That last little dust-up didn't go so well for me, you might have guessed. I'm not exactly a medical expert, but I severely doubt that my ankle should feel like this. Or my shoulder.
Now, I have two options:
Not really much of a choice is it?
So I called up a certain "Doctor". Maybe you're familiar? She didn't get back to me, so I wrote it off and kept driving.
I pulled in to a rest stop last night to catch a bit of rest, needed to stretch. Fucking cold night. And my jacket is still filled with holes. Need to replace it.
So this... woman shows up. White coat, scarf, what looked like chocolate but I'm assuming was blood on both.
Creepy fucking mask. Points for that, the thing was made out of bits of bone.
Not sure what it was painted with, don't want to know. Horn sort of thing, on the one side. Deer maybe?
What happened next? Ow. Really fucking ow.
She came at me with a fucking bone. Like a fucking shinbone.
Get on the ground. Pain, really bad idea. Face is still in one piece but she got your shoulder, more than a little raw. That's alright, you can shake it off.
Roll over, you need to get up. Nope, foot planted in my ribs. Just about knocked the breath out of me.
Swing, try to hit something dumbass. The wrench in my pocket gets her in the leg.
Bad idea. She goes for my head. Try to pull my arm up. Wait, wrong fucking arm.
Pain. Everything goes white for a second, and then red. Blood in my eyes. More pain, boot in the ribs again.
Drives the breath out of me.
That's alright, you've been here before, plenty of times. Try to roll with it. If she wanted to kill you she'd have done it by now, right?
Lost track a little, more hits with that fucking bone. . I remember trying to pull my legs up, cover the squishy bits, that didn't sit too well with the crazy lady.
Not sure when she left or how long the beating lasted. I'm a fucking mess now. Bruises all over my arms legs back. Plenty of them on my ribs, nasty cut on the side of my head.
When I could move again, I had a bit of paper tucked in my pocket, and a fucking lollipop. Believe it. A fucking lollipop
It's a prescription, little hard to read, physicians apparently can't write worth shit, but this was worse.
"Anger management zalafl?" Trying to prescribe food maybe?
And then: "Hello Robin, we haven't met before in person but I hope you feel better soon please take this gift as a sign of everyone's fucking appreciation for you."
That's just fucking cheery isn't it? I'm guessing the good Doctor caught up with me after all.
Fuck you too Doc. Fuck you too.
Doctor proceeds to beat the patient within an inch of his life.
Everyone laughs. Except the patient because he has fucking bruised ribs.
Typing this waiting in the ER. Hopefully they don't give a fuck.
That last little dust-up didn't go so well for me, you might have guessed. I'm not exactly a medical expert, but I severely doubt that my ankle should feel like this. Or my shoulder.
Now, I have two options:
- Go to a hospital and say I got fucking mugged (which has the potential bring up the whole nine yards about murder, arson, and jaywalking)
- Seek the help of a certain unlicensed professional.
Not really much of a choice is it?
So I called up a certain "Doctor". Maybe you're familiar? She didn't get back to me, so I wrote it off and kept driving.
I pulled in to a rest stop last night to catch a bit of rest, needed to stretch. Fucking cold night. And my jacket is still filled with holes. Need to replace it.
So this... woman shows up. White coat, scarf, what looked like chocolate but I'm assuming was blood on both.
Creepy fucking mask. Points for that, the thing was made out of bits of bone.
Not sure what it was painted with, don't want to know. Horn sort of thing, on the one side. Deer maybe?
What happened next? Ow. Really fucking ow.
She came at me with a fucking bone. Like a fucking shinbone.
Get on the ground. Pain, really bad idea. Face is still in one piece but she got your shoulder, more than a little raw. That's alright, you can shake it off.
Roll over, you need to get up. Nope, foot planted in my ribs. Just about knocked the breath out of me.
Swing, try to hit something dumbass. The wrench in my pocket gets her in the leg.
Bad idea. She goes for my head. Try to pull my arm up. Wait, wrong fucking arm.
Pain. Everything goes white for a second, and then red. Blood in my eyes. More pain, boot in the ribs again.
Drives the breath out of me.
That's alright, you've been here before, plenty of times. Try to roll with it. If she wanted to kill you she'd have done it by now, right?
Lost track a little, more hits with that fucking bone. . I remember trying to pull my legs up, cover the squishy bits, that didn't sit too well with the crazy lady.
Not sure when she left or how long the beating lasted. I'm a fucking mess now. Bruises all over my arms legs back. Plenty of them on my ribs, nasty cut on the side of my head.
When I could move again, I had a bit of paper tucked in my pocket, and a fucking lollipop. Believe it. A fucking lollipop
It's a prescription, little hard to read, physicians apparently can't write worth shit, but this was worse.
"Anger management zalafl?" Trying to prescribe food maybe?
And then: "Hello Robin, we haven't met before in person but I hope you feel better soon please take this gift as a sign of everyone's fucking appreciation for you."
That's just fucking cheery isn't it? I'm guessing the good Doctor caught up with me after all.
Fuck you too Doc. Fuck you too.
Slept too long
Six fucking hours.
Fuck. That's too long. Anything could have happened.
Must've really done a number on me.
Where the fuck is a hospital when you need it?
Fuck. That's too long. Anything could have happened.
Must've really done a number on me.
Where the fuck is a hospital when you need it?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Note to self
Learn to land properly. My ankle is fucking killing me.
Stopped last night for a few minutes to grab something to eat. Someone was waiting by the car when I came out. So I avoided the car. Went for a bit of a walkabout. This feels... flat. It's not quite what I'm used to. Lot more buildings in Toronto, even downtown Ottawa had build-up. Highrises, that sort of thing.
The walk didn't end well.
Whoever was watching my car had friends. Never really got a good look at 'em.
Running, you can hear their feet hitting the pavement behind you, but that's alright. Two? No, maybe three. Hard to tell.
They aren't far now. You don't have to be faster, not the whole time, just fast enough. Have to be smarter.
There's a fence, jump over it, swing the legs up. Like running away from that dog that lived nearby. You had to walk past it after school. Remember when it broke it's lead and came after you? Just like that. Over the fence.
Keep running, they're still on you, did you think it was going to be easy? Hard left, down the street. Cars coming from both directions, hard right, through the street. Mind the traffic now boys.
Now quickly, up over the fence between those houses. Make them work for it.
Oh shit. Dog. Move fast, keep going. Maybe he'll slow them down, another fence. Up and over it one more time. Almost in the clear now.
Fuck, ditch. Stick the landing, roll.
Pain, shake it off. Your ankle doesn't hurt that much. Sounds like the dog is dealing with one of them. Just get back up. Fuck.
Lost your footing there. Bottom of the ditch now. More pain. Shoulder this time. Not going to be easy. Alright, running isn't exactly a fucking option at this point. Hide. There's a culvert over there. Climbing out will take too long.
Looks like they're gone. Lucky bastard. Now, just need to get back to the car. Have some people to talk to.
Stopped last night for a few minutes to grab something to eat. Someone was waiting by the car when I came out. So I avoided the car. Went for a bit of a walkabout. This feels... flat. It's not quite what I'm used to. Lot more buildings in Toronto, even downtown Ottawa had build-up. Highrises, that sort of thing.
The walk didn't end well.
Whoever was watching my car had friends. Never really got a good look at 'em.
Running, you can hear their feet hitting the pavement behind you, but that's alright. Two? No, maybe three. Hard to tell.
They aren't far now. You don't have to be faster, not the whole time, just fast enough. Have to be smarter.
There's a fence, jump over it, swing the legs up. Like running away from that dog that lived nearby. You had to walk past it after school. Remember when it broke it's lead and came after you? Just like that. Over the fence.
Keep running, they're still on you, did you think it was going to be easy? Hard left, down the street. Cars coming from both directions, hard right, through the street. Mind the traffic now boys.
Now quickly, up over the fence between those houses. Make them work for it.
Oh shit. Dog. Move fast, keep going. Maybe he'll slow them down, another fence. Up and over it one more time. Almost in the clear now.
Fuck, ditch. Stick the landing, roll.
Pain, shake it off. Your ankle doesn't hurt that much. Sounds like the dog is dealing with one of them. Just get back up. Fuck.
Lost your footing there. Bottom of the ditch now. More pain. Shoulder this time. Not going to be easy. Alright, running isn't exactly a fucking option at this point. Hide. There's a culvert over there. Climbing out will take too long.
Looks like they're gone. Lucky bastard. Now, just need to get back to the car. Have some people to talk to.
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